A STREAM OF CONSCIOUS THOUGHT I made these stories by just starting to type the first things that came into my head, and not thinking more than about 3 words ahead of where I was typing. Written somewhere in the early 2000's when I was doing phone tech support. ---------------------------------- There once was a girl named Tannis. One day, she was walking outside, when suddenly the ground fell out from beneath her. Bouncing down a curved path, she landed in a large pile of loose dirt in absolute darkness. Feeling around, she finds that she is in an opening about 8 feet across, with a tunnel leading to one direction. Feeling curious, she wandered down the tunnel. Slowly, a light began to creep into the darkness. Walking forwards, since she could now see the ground, she came upon a large room, lit by torchlight. Stepping into the room, a door slammed shut behind her. Pounding on the door seemed to do nothing, so she walked forward. Suddenly, she heard a voice behind her. Looking around, Tannis saw a ghost behind her. The ghost said there was three ways out of there. To starve, to commit suicide, or to find a way to have random occurrence kill you. Tannis threw a rock at the ghost. The ghost drifted away, and Tannis looked around. The end of the room had a large table. Going up to the table, Tannis saw two objects in front of her. One was a circular stone, with the drawing of a fish on it. The second was an egg. Tannis took the stone, and smashed the egg with it. Suddenly, a deep voice spoke to her. "Well done", said the voice. "You have passed the test." "What test?", asked Tannis. "I smashed an egg with a rock." "Wait... you smashed the egg?", said the voice. "Damnit, that was my lunch. You were supposed to break the stone." "Ah hells", said Tannis. At that point, the ghost came back and said "Pfft, loser". Tannis threw the stone at the ghost. This time, the fish-stone hit it, and he began to glow. Then he morphed into a fish. Tannis then stepped on the fish, crushing the very life out of it. "Agh! My son!", said the voice. "Ah hells", said Tannis. Tannis then ran like said aformentioned hells. However, having been splattered with the egg of power, Tannis found that she had super strength. She punched her way through the door, and ran back down the tunnel. At the end, she jumped up the hole, plowing her way through the curves. When she got to the surface, it was a dry, desolate place. Nothing alive could be found. Except a herd of muskrat running across the road for some reason. "Bwahaha", laughed the voice. "I have destroyed all life on earth because of you." "What about the muskrat?", asked Tannis. "Yeah... those damn things", said the voice. "I don't know what's up with that. Damn things didn't die. But... uhh... everything ELSE did!" "Meh.", said Tannis. She then wandered home and got some Super Smash Bros. Melee going. At least she didn't have to call in sick for work. --------------------------------------------------------------- Tannis looked up. The sky was blue, and the flock of vultures circled overhead. Tannis then looked down. What she saw... was sand. Lots and lots of sand. Tannis was in a desert. "Mmmm", thought Tannis. "I could sure go for some dessert right now." Shaking aside the thought, Tannis looked back. A long trail of footprints followed her. "ACK! I'm being followed!", thought Tannis. Then she thought "Wait... those are my footprints. What the hell? I don't remember taking a stroll through a desert." Then it occurred to her. The last memory that she HAD was of her playing Super Smash Bros. Melee, when suddenly a sack was thrown over her, and she was hit with what felt like a shovel and blacked out. "Riiiight... that thing.", thought Tannis. "Wonder how long I've been out here." He looked at the sun's position and thought "I have absolutely no clue what time that's supposed to indicate... and it hurts my eyes." Blinking the vision back, Tannis continued walking. Right over the next sand dune, she saw an oasis in the distance. "Either I'm stupid lucky, or hallucinating.", thought Tannis. "Let's hope it's the former." Walking along, the sun beat down on her. She quickly noticed that she was getting closer to the aformentioned oasis. "Well... this isn't the type of hallucination that stays a constant distance from you at least.", thought Tannis as she began to walk faster. Soon enough, she was close enough to feel a slightly cooler breeze wafting over the pool of water. She finally arrived, and twiggled her toes in the water. It was warm... but she wasn't too surprised, because she was in the middle of a freaking desert. "Yeah... I wouldn't mind being in the middle of a dessert... and eat my way to the end", thought Tannis. She turned around and looked at the desert behind her. The desert behind her was now a lush forest. A lush forest full of the sounds of monkeys and unknown animals aplenty. "Well crap. Looks like I'm in a dream or something. Or hallucinating more. Preferably the former.", thought Tannis. She decided to test the theory. She then took a stick and jabbed her arm with it. "Ouch, bitch", yelled Tannis. "Shoulda known better. Pinching yourself or whatever when you're asleep NEVER works. Who the hell came up with that in the first place?!?" But... Tannis then thought that since the sudden pain didn't shift anything around, she figured odds are she's dreaming. "Y'know... I COULD test the theory by climbing to the top of a tree and plunging to the ground.", thought Tannis. "But that sometimes doesn't wake you up either. And if it's NOT a dream... well, that'd just suck." So Tannis climbed a tree anyway, to see where she was. At the top of the tree, she found some monkeys. Tannis then grabbed on of their tails and began swinging it around, knocking the other monkeys off the branches. "WOOH! MONKEY-CHUCKS!", yelled Tannis, batting another one from its perch. Whipping the monkey to the ground, Tannis looked around. She now noticed that she was at the top of a lone tree in a field, with nothing in sight. "Crap, not again", thought Tannis. "Although, on the plus side, this pretty well tells me this is a dream. I don't think hallucinations can swap that easily." At that, Tannis took a jump off the tree, and flew towards the ground. She landed with a thud. Feeling an extraordinarily large amount of pain, she opened her eyes. She had rolled off the bed in a hospital. The pain she was feeling was from having landed on her arm, pulling the IV needle out. Suddenly a nurse was by her side. "Oh good GOD! The doctors warned me about this one.", she said. She then said "Well... I've been meaning to go insane today anyway." "This doesn't sound good.", said Tannis. The nurse then pulled a shotgun from being strapped to her back, and blasted Tannis in the head. Tannis was now a red kinda stain on, and partially in the wall. ---------------------------------------------------- There once was a girl named Tannis. She liked to play video games. The games went berzerk. She felt like a jerk. So she set the game system in flames. That wasn't the smartest of ideas on Tannis' part. The system quickly melted down, and started burning the carpet around it. "Oh CRAP!", yelled Tannis. "Why in the blue monkey hell did I even DO that?!?" At that, Tannis ran out of the house. Looking back, the entire house started burning. "Oh CRAP!", yelled Tannis. "That's not my house!" So... Tannis sauntered off quietly, pretending like nothing was wrong. But she was mistaken. Something WAS wrong. For you see, the melted game system had been possessed. A demon's body began to form from the smoke rising from the system. With a loud explosion, it came into existence. "Yesssss", said the demon. "Sweet fire has set me free from my impenetrable plastic, perforated-with-air-vents, openable-hatched, easily damaged cage. I must go thank the young woman for freeing me." Further down the road, Tannis felt a chill up her spine. No, wait... some ass had dropped an ice cube down her back. Tannis turned around. The ice cube had been dropped by a 15-foot demon covered in shoe-tongues. "Yesss... you have been touched by the icy ice of... ICE!", said the demon. "Like... ice?", asked Tannis. "And what's with the shoe fetish?" "I like shoes... sue me", said the demon. "And yes... ICE! BWAHAHAHAHA!" "Ummm... ok then. I'm gonna leave now", said Tannis, and she turned and walked off. "Wait, WAIT!", said the demon. "Ok, I was just screwing with you about the ice. That's just ice from some guy's freezer. What I REALLY wanted to give you was a choice." "What kinda choice?", asked Tannis. "You can either get one wish... or have what's inside the box", said the demon, who then drew a large, evil-looking, glowing red box from behind her back. "What if I wish for more wishes? Or wish to get a wish AND the box?", asked Tannis. "Because I'll kill you if you do.", said the demon. "I see. Good argument.", said Tannis. "Gimme the wish." "You sure you don't want the box?", asked the demon. "It could hold untold things the likes of which you can't even fathom!" "Yeah, or it could hold a dead bird for all I know", replied Tannis. "Gimme the wish." "Damnit!", yelled the demon. "EVERYONE takes the box!" "What IS in the box, now that I've decided on the wish?", asked Tannis. "A boullion cube", said the demon. "Yeah, you wouldn't believe how pissed off people can get when they find out they won a boullion cube." "At least they'd get the box", said Tannis. "No, no, some have tried that. They got what was IN the box", replied the demon. "Ah, tricky", said Tannis. "Can I get my wish now?" "Eh, give 'er hell", said the demon. With that long-ass conversation over, Tannis made a wish. A wish the likes of which noone had ever seen before. A wish that could only be fathomed by those who can fathom the unfathomable. She wished for the box. It was like... 3 feet square! That's a massive box that glows all strange like. She played in it every day after that. Then eventually, since it's constantly glowing, she managed to hook up a charger to it and got free energy out of it. She also hooked up a few more generators and sold off enough energy to those living near her to live off of it. Tannis had obtained... the box of free living. ------------------------------------------------ Tannis looked at the ceiling from her desk. Rows upon rows of fluorescent lights lined the ceiling. She then heard a ring. Looking down, she saw a flashing light on the phone. From the phone, a cord trailed to the headset clamped to her head. her ball and chain. Tannis was at work. Thinking about being at work made her bored, so she decided to rip off her headset and plunge through the window to her right. Air streamed past her face as she raced towards the ground. From 25 stories up, it was a nice fall. Fearing that the ground might hurt, Tannis put her arms forward in a diving stance. Surprisingly, it worked. She burrowed into the pavement below, creating a hole deep into the ground. She felt the earth scrape along her sides, followed by the sudden feeling of wetness and cold. Noticing that her arms were no longer pinned by the earth, she moved in a swimming motion, going in the direction she thought was up. She hit a stone wall, which did not contain air in any way. She tried. Sucking on rock is quite difficult, and not very rewarding. She tried another direction, beginning to panic. She hit... another rock. Following the rock, Tannis found the hole she had originally burrowed. There was indeed air in her tunnel. Catching her breath and taking a large gulp of air, Tannis went under to look around for a way out. The thought of climbing out of that hole didn't please her too much. She followed the ceiling, finding little patches of air trapped here and there to keep going. Not that Tannis liked that much either, since the air was very stale. But nonetheless, it kept her alive, so she kept going. Eventually, it began to curve upwards. Thoughts of actual fresh air and escape from the water began to cheer up Tannis. Then it curved down again. Stupid tunnel. Tannis then realized that since she was able to tunnel through cement to get here, maybe she can tunnel back up. Finding a pocket of air to work with, she drove her hand into the ceiling of the tunnel. Yeah, that was rock all right. Didn't need that fingernail, which had now twisted half-off. Much screaming ensued. Given the small area, it was very loud screaming to her. Pulling it entirely off, she continued. At least the water washed away the tears and numbed the pain. Stupid ceiling. Tannis began to wonder how in the hells she got down there in the first place. Little did she know that coincidentally, a wizard had liquefied the ground the split-second before she hit it, and re-solidified the surface afterwards. Damn wizards. That little bugger had been plaguing the city as of late. But Tannis was in luck. Amidst her swimming, she finally came to a shore. On the shore... was the wizard’s hut. Tannis took this opportunity to throw a rock at the wizard and drown her. She then found some matches and burnt the wizard's hut and the wizard to ashes. She then pissed in the ashes. Then she scraped it into the water, pissed in the water, and climbed out through yet another series of tunnels that led her to the basement of her work building. Climbing back up to the 25th floor, she sat soaking wet, covered in dirt, missing a fingernail, back into her chair and took the next call. ------------------------------------- Orange. The colour of.... orange. I looked at it. Damn was it ever orange. On an unrelated note, I really wanted oranges. But alas... there were none to be found. This sounded like a quest. A quest of infinite power and immortality. Well, not really... but a quest to the grocery store nonetheless. And as well all know, store clerks are both immortal and have ultimate power. Well... not really. In fact, some would argue they have pretty well the exact opposite. But in the end... opposites attract, so therefore, they could easily be ASSOCIATED with ultimate power and immortality. Except of course for the undead, who have neither. Damn vampires. Which made Tannis think... what the hell was a vampire doing behind her. Tannis turned around. The vampire just smiled at her. Tannis smiled back and asked "So what's with the teeth anyway?" The vampire replied "Well, it pierces the skin, so we can... y'know... drink blood." Tannis then said "Bah. I'd use a knife. And maybe an orange." The vampire replied "What the hell would the orange be for?" "To kinda... y'know... squeeze into the wound. DAMN but that would hurt", said Tannis. "Yeah, that it would", said the vampire. With that, Tannis was given an orange by the vampire. "I want you to stab someone, and thusly squirt orange juice into the wound", said the vampire. "Ok", said Tannis, who then took a knife from her pocket and stabbed the vampire. And then crammed the entire orange into the hole. "Ok, for one... ow", started the vampire. "Secondly... you have no clue who you're dealing with." "Yes I do", replied Tannis. "Freddy the vampire. You walked into the building like... 15 minutes ago, and have been staring at my computer screen ever since." "Well... that MAY be correct, but you have no idea the power I wield", replied the vampire, now mad and plucking the orange from her stomach. "Yes I do", said Tannis. "You said not 5 minutes ago while I was trying to ignore you that you could just barely lift 500 pounds. In case you didn't notice, I was trying to ignore you while I fantasized about oranges, and started typing a stupid story, which you then interrupted." "Ok, that may ALSO be true", said the vampire. "But you can never KILL me and stuff, yeah." "Yes I can", replied Tannis, who then took the orange and threw it at the vampire's head. The orange bounced off her head, and landed on the ground. The vampire looked irritated. Tannis laughed. She then took a shotgun from under the desk, and then showed it to the vampire. "Nice shotgun, huh?", asked Tannis. "Why yes. Yes it is.", replied the vampire. "I don't know why it's here", said Tannis. "They just moved my desk, and it was like... clamped under the desktop." "Pretty sweet deal", said the vampire. "Why didn't you kill me with it just then?" "Because of this", said Tannis, who then pulled a chainsaw with a silver chain out from under the desktop. She then gored the vampire into 187 little pieces, which then melted in whichever way vampires melted nowadays. Y'see... ever since the 80's, the vampires have been trying to find convenient ways to melt upon destruction. None convenient enough have been found, so it's kinda all over the place. "How many things do you have clamped under there?" asked a coworker. "Well, there's the chainsaw, the shotgun, a halberd, a fish, and a steel poker under there", replied Tannis. "And also a tuna and some frogs legs, but those are only for when the ghouls that specifically are allergic to said items come by." "How often is that?", asked the coworker. "Well, one came by at like... 2:00pm yesterday. I think there was about 3 last week. It was a slow week.", replied Tannis. Tannis then looked out the window, and saw a giant hovering orange outside. She opened the window and climbed onto it. And by 'opened', I mean 'hurled a chair through it', because in this office building, the windows don't open in the conventional sense. Tannis then rode the floating orange to victory. Well, not quite victory. More like "The mutant orange then opened it's mouth and swallowed Tannis whole", but close enough. --------------------------------------------- The coffee was black. Well... more brown than anything. Quite possibly due to the cream and sugar inside, which therefore by definition made it other than black, in both colour and flavour. In fact... was I even drinking coffee? Tannis took a sip from her cup. Yep... coffee. Three cream, three sugar. It was crappy coffee, because there was no Tim Hortons close to her. She sighed and looked in front of her. An alien's head peered back at her. This was no ordinary alien though... it was that two-mouthed cool one from the movie Aliens... not the crappy grey ones in most movies. She swung her arm out towards me. I flinched. Of course I did... a freakin' alien was looking to claw my chest out. She did not however claw out my chest, and ravage my corpse to slake her ever-growing hunger. She did however, have a straw in her hand. She took the straw, and stabbed it into the coffee. Well, I'm not one to backtalk to an alien, so I just let her take a sip. It's not BAD coffee... Robin's Donuts and all... so I didn't think much bad would come of it. "GLAAAAGH!", screamed the alien, pulling back. It seemed obvious that the coffee was too hot for her, and she had scalded her tongue... or second mouth thing... or whatever she has in that maw of hers. "Steady there! That's normal. You've gotta sip it slowly!", I said, trying to calm down the alien. The alien immediately raised her other hand. In THAT hand... was a spoon. She dipped it down into my container of yogurt. Strangely... I didn't even remember having yogurt to begin with. Kinda sucks, because I like yogurt, and by the look of it, this was blueberry flavoured. Soon, I realized that the spoon wasn't giving her enough intake, so she tossed the spoon to the side, and stabbed out her inner-mouth into the yogurt container. Unfortunately, she burst through the bottom of the plastic cup, and grabbed a chunk of wood from the table beneath. Choking on the lump of wood now lodged in her inner mouth, she began flailing around. I grabbed around her waist, and squeezed. Well... the heimlich maneuver doesn't work so well on something with an excruciatingly strong exoskeleton, so I reached into her mouth and attempted to pull the wood free. Man, but that was a mistake. I DID manage to dislodge the wood, but unfortunately, she kinda clamped down during her gasping for air. Lacking of my right arm, I looked at her, and then at the blood spouting from my stump. "Aw CRAP! I liked that arm. That's like... my main arm!", I yelled. I wasn't too happy right now, seeing as I was missing a limb and all. "I can't become a lefty. My left arm is like... useless." The alien looked saddened at my loss. After all, I just saved her life. She looked around, and decided that her arm was too... acid-blood filled to be able to give to me in return. So she decided to tear off her arm anyway, and give it to me as an offering. Looking at the arm, I hugged her, thanking her for the present. Then I had an idea. I tipped the arm upside down, and drained the acid out from it. Given I was on the 25th floor a a building, it made a clear hole straight down to the basement. Wow, but that was a big tunnel. I started dropping random garbage down the hole. It hit people in the head when they were looking down. That was all funny and stuff, but I now had me a perfectly safe alien arm. Cramming it over my arm socket, my blood flowed into it. I could feel the healing power of the alien melding to my bones and muscles. After several minutes, I could begin to feel a tingling in the fingertips. Taking my lead, the alien yanked what was left of my arm from her mouth (yes, she had it there the entire time), and clamped it onto her stump. Her healing powers began to grow overtop of my arm, which then melted off of her due to the acid. She shrugged and shook my new alien arm, after which I decided to test it, and clawed through the chair closest to me. Yep, it shredded like paper in a... y'know... shredder and stuff. And thus as I am today... part alien. The alien just kinda took off five minutes after the shredding and never came back. Hells if I know where she went. --------------------------------------------- They were known as... the mighty Toastmasters, a strong, fierce bunch who had integrated themselves in with society. Well... they weren't so much mighty as... well... toast. Nor were they strong, OR fierce in actuality. They could be damaged by fire... water... a strong wind... well, you get the point. And that point was that it was my job to track them down. I was... the Toastslayer. Well... I didn't so much slay them as I did kinda push 'em down and stomp 'em into the dirt. Maybe go for a game of pool beforehand. It was well known that they were very dexterous. I remember once, this one toastmaster played a mean game of pool against me. I ended up losing like... 50 bucks against her. Then I stomped her into the carpet and got it back. Ahh, good times. Now, the hard part about tracking down a toastmaster is that they're kinda crumbly-looking, ooze the smell of bread, and leave a trail of oatmeal behind them. They fit nearly perfectly into society. Contrary to popular belief, as well as nature itself... they didn't leave any breadcrumbs behind. Nobody has ever figured out why, because none have ever been captured to test. They blended in TOO well. I began to plot my method of stalking my prey. "Hey", said Sam. "Oh, hey man.", I said. "Nice day... huh?" "Yep", said Sam. "But hey... I've gotta run. The pizza-race is starting in a few miles. "See ya later.", I said. I knew that Sam was a toastmaster. Or an Oatrunner, as they're also known. At least I thought so. The trail of oatmeal that led to and from my desk seemed to indicate that, but I had no way of knowing if she was simply carrying around a leaking bag of oatmeal with her. As I smelled the toasty air, I looked around. A red circle swirled on the wall next to me. I stared into it, mezmerized. Suddenly, I tore my vision from it. It was hypnotizing me. What vile creature could also place red, hypnotizing circles all over the place. The Toastmasters. I planned my method of tracking Sam. There was no easy way to find her, aside from the oatmeal trail... but that could be inconclusive, since it could be that if she IS a Toastmaster, then there could also be other, REAL people walking around with leaking bags of oatmeal that would lead me in the wrong direction. I decided to take the easy way out. I started shooting at everything that moved. After having slaughtered everyone in the office... I realized that Sam may have seen me stand up with my glock and just... stood still. It was well known that my weakness was that if you stayed still... I wouldn't see you. It was a bitch of a weakness, I agree... but my theory was that if I kept moving, then it would appear as if everything else was moving... and I could shoot everything. That usually led to a lot of chairs, walls, and well.. everything being pumped full of bullets, but I got the job done. I've never lost a case to a Toastmaster yet. Then again... this was the first Toastmaster I've actually met. Well, despite the hundreds of trails of oatmeal that trailed around the city going to people's houses and such... but that could easily be explained by Sam visiting like... 3/4 of the cities residences, or everyone just had a leaking bag of oatmeal with them. I decided to try a test. I took a match, and dropped it on the trail of oatmeal. The match went out. Yep... it was real oatmeal. Contrary to "science" or "ingredients", the only TRUE way to tell if it was oatmeal was to burn it. If it didn't burn... it was oatmeal. Except of course for the hundreds of varieties of flammable oatmeal, but I didn't think that Sam was made out of that. Except for the fact that fire can kill most Toastmasters... so she may well be. So the conclusion was... that I had nothing. -------------------------------------------- Except this piggy bank in my hands. I jingled it around. It had money in it! SWEET, I thought I'd lost that thing years ago. I smashed it open. Inside... lay a golden egg. "Bah, what good is this?" I asked. "I wanna go buy stuff... not eat metallic eggs." I threw it through the window. And by window, I mean the secretary Alice. She went down like a ton of bricks. "Sorry Alice", I yelled. "I was aiming at the window." She seemed quite annoyed by this, since there wasn't actually any windows in the building. Or any building for that matter. Windows were considered illegal, and all glass had been banished to the land of... glass. Kinda sucked to go there, because it could cut you up something fierce. Better than the land of fire nearby. I once spent a weekend there... I swear I lost half of the hair on my body. Also, the lack of oxygen in the air sucked. Then there was the afternoon spent at the land of "dirt covered rusty nails and open wound spillings". They have nice hotels there. Strangely, the area doesn't actually have any dirt, nails, or wounds spillings. It's actually made entirely out of taco-meat. The buildings tended to smell kinda funky, so I didn't like it that much. That being said... I turned to my desk. The red swirly thing was back. I punched out of the phone, and logged out for the day. Another day well spent. Going to the elevator made out of cream cheese, I stepped in and scratched my bagel against the wall. Taking a bite, I realized it was strawberry flavoured. "Oohh, new flavour of elevator", I said. "Yep", said Ralph. "They flew it down from Alaska just last week." Munching on my bagel, we went to the first floor, and I walked home, crunching the skulls under my feet. Strangely, it was also now illegal to use anything other than human skulls to pave walkways any more too, but that was a job for another day. I looked at my cat Jack. He was orange and had fur all over him. Except his eyes. The eyes... THE EYES! They penetrated my very SOUL! This was of course because the cat was possessed by a cheese bagel. Except of course for the demon that possessed the bagel that possessed the cat... but he was harmless. Not like the demon that possessed the cheese that was on the cheese bagel though. Looking at the cat look through my soul, I thought to myself "Girl, now would be a nice time for some cranberries. Cranberries and the loss of your eternal soul go well together." I tore my vision away from the cat, restoring my soul. Damned cat. It did that like... three times a week. It helps if I put sunglasses on him, but he just bats them off and usually possesses them with a lower demon. I've been keeping a box of these demons sitting in the cupboard for the past few years. I think they're starting to get pissed off, really. I went outside to clear my head. The cat tried to follow me, but I pushed him back in and closed the door. Which didn't work much, because the demon that possessed the cheese could also allow him to pass through matter. Didn't work out that well though, because when he tried to pass through the door, he fell through the floor. That happens several times a week too. Stupid demon. It takes him a little while to get back up here after that. So I continued my walk. I took the stairs down until I hit ground floor. Stepping outside, it was a cool spring day. The grass was brown, and the sky was green. Yeah... the demon also did that too when he fell through the ground. Pissed him off something fierce. Fierce like that cat in front of me. Not my cat... another one, that was like... 20 feet tall. It snarled at me. It had really big teeth too, which were covered in honey. Looking nearby, I saw a beehive that was bitten in half. "Ahh... so you're one of those damn honey-eating giant cats that have been plaguing the city as of late", I said to the cat creature. "Why yes, I am", replied the cat. "Although, we don't particularly enjoy being called 'creatures'". "Sorry about that", I said... followed by me kicking it in the crotch as hard as I could. The cat creature dropped like a stone. Damn things are worse than pigeons sometimes. There was like... another four of them on the lawn, and if my ears are correct, it sounds like someone just ran into one on the street a few blocks away. Ahh, the sound of a honk, screech, thunk, and a loud meow. Usually didn't kill the cat thing though. Maybe bruised it's leg or something. Nothing serious. Sucked to be the driver though. Driving while being covered in honey though, I never got what was with that trend nowadays. So I continued my walk away from the creatures. Beside my building was a giant lamp-post store. The sold... oranges. I'm not entirely sure why the sign still said 'lamp-post store', but it was probably bought out by another company recently. Except it had been there for about five years now. So I walked in and bought me a sack of lamp-flavoured oranges. I'm not entirely sure WHY I did. Things tasted like crap. But they were really acidic, and kinda exploded on impact, so they made nice weapons. I then spent the afternoon hurling lamp-oranges at cat creatures until the sun went down, and they ate me, followed by devouring the lamp-post store, and the university a few blocks away.