A helping hand... brain

And lo, the Space Pirate finally found someone who offered to help him. And thus, a miracle hath occured.

Ok, fine whatever, I'll figure that out sometime later... bitch... let's just move this along. I've got a beef with Samus. Any chance you can help me out here?
Intriguing. What sort of 'beef' might this be?
It can be 'corned beef' for all the difference it makes, now I've been jerked around WAY too much lately, so can you throw me a bone here?
Well fine, if you're going to be that way, then maybe I have no clue who this "Samus" person is.
Ugh, fine, FINE, alright, fine, whatever. I was sent on a mission to this planet to see if Samus is here, and if she is, either kill her or report back with how powerful she is. I'm a Space Pirate, and she's a sworn enemy of ours. Not exactly the most difficult concept.
See, was that so hard?
Look, if you're going to waste my time, then I'm g-
Hold on, hold on, geeze. I'm not exactly a fan of Samus myself, so I think we can work out a deal.
Someone who might be able to ACTUALLY help?!? It's a miracle!

Metroid, Samus, Kraid, and the rest of 'em are all property of Nintendo, who to my knowledge wouldn't do anything such as sue me or shut poor Planet Zebeth down, because they're so damn nice, and Metroid kicks ass : }
This particular comic strip was made solely by me, by that happy little program known as KolourPaint. Yes, the one that everyone runs in fear from. That's why the comic looks the way it does.