Genderfluidity - How it works
Oh hey, because I'm paranoid, DISCLAIMERS!
Don't be stupid, don't hurt yourself, don't do anything you're not comfortable with, I take no responsibility blah, blah, blah, blah, you control your own actions and all that. I'm not a psychologist, or... whatever, insert the appropriate occupational role that would cover this category of thought (gender therapist comes to mind... of which I'm not, so take everything I say with a grain of salt). Also, I *obviously* have no way of knowing if *any* of this even applies to anyone else, or will work for them. Seems like it might, but I'm just speculating. Like I said, all I can do is describe what I personally perceive, in what I would describe as the most accurate terms possible. Like "whooshing" :P
Whew, with all that please-don't-sue-me-I'm-just-trying-to-help-people out of the way... you have no idea how difficult frame 2 of the second half (or frame 10, I guess) was to make. I didn't start from a picture or anything, I just started winging it in paint. I rather like how it turned out. Got the blades turned at different angles for... seemingly obvious reasons, but that's why they look different sized. Don't worry, that was deliberate :P
Aaaaand on an unrelated note, I've been laid off again. It's the slow time of year right now is basically what it boils down to. Well, aside from the whole global issue of too many people of working age and not enough positions that require a human operator, but just locally. It was a mild winter, no flooding in spring, it's just that... work is in short supply for plumbers, or the construction industry as a whole (or so I've been told by coworkers).
I'm not too concerned though, I've got a friend on the inside who's gonna let me know when it picks up, and remind 'em to hire me back when they can. He knows I'm a good worker, *they* know I'm a good worker, I'm not too worried. Slow seasons happen, and I'm the lowest man on the totem pole there. Just gotta see if I can scrap by until then. Might be a lotta Mr. Noodles nights, but... y'do whatcha gotta do.
Aaaaand otherwise nothing much else to speak of. There's a Pride parade happening here relatively soon, so I'm planning to hit that up all girled up. The bearded lady's been out before, but she's looking forward to being out and in the open :)
Next up for the site: Get pictures of all the new chainmaille stuff posted. Because seriously, if there's any individual hobby that's been soaking up time that might otherwise be spent at the computer, it's chainmaille. And the stuff has been turning out awesome :D
Bah, we need to go back to a barter system or something. Wouldn't mind trading my first chainmaille shirt for a few months rent or something :P
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More genderfluid stuff! So as you can imagine, I've been researching this, and speaking with other transgender people online. Like-minded individuals and all that. But I've noticed certain things... lacking from everywhere I look.
Namely, any question along the lines of "What does it feel like when it changes?" or "How are you able to change genders?" Despite the multitude of genderfluid groups, this never seems to come up, or is ignored.
Therefore, Ima describe what I perceive when it changes, and give a quick rundown of how I can change it manually. I chalk a lot of this up to hiding it for decades, and I have no idea if others perceive it this way, so y'know... well warned.
The "what" is easy. Slow changes I don't really notice, but for quick changes, I can only describe it as a "whooshing" through your body. It feels as though something is flushing through your system.
For 'guy' to 'girl', it includes more of a 'head rush', for lack of a better description. 'Girl' to 'guy' tends to stick more to just a rushing through your body.
For the "how", that's a bit more... involved. To make a long story short, I taught myself.
*walk*
*flump*
Let me describe to you how I taught myself. First, I found a chair. This was the hard part. Sit exactly 'not' like me, you want to be just... relaxed, feet shoulder-widthish apart in front of you, arms limp at your sides. And hey, feel free to follow along, genderfluid or not! This next part is just *relaxing*.
Now, take a deeeeeep breath. And we're talking a *proper* deep breath. In through the nose, deeply from the diaphragm. TAke a deeeeeep breath, and just *let it out*, and *DROP* your shoulders. Focus on your shoulder position, and make it go limp.
Feels good, doesn't it?
*re-flump*
...so... whatcha thinkin' about?
Feminine stuff? Masculine stuff? Thinking about that local sporting event you're going to attend? Picturing yourself wearing that cute dress you saw recently?
What are your legs doing? Pay attention to your legs now. What would be a more comfortable way to sit? Your body is in a constant stateof trying to come up witha more "comfy" position to be in. What would be more comfortable for your legs?
Do you want to splay them out, like you're sitting on the couch, watching UFC and destroying a bag of chips?
Or do you want to cross your legs, and watch a romcom that's actually funny. Like Bridesmaids! Oohh, and maybe do my nails.
I figure if you wanna splay 'em out and take up more spae, you're more guy. If you wanna cross 'em and take up less space, you're more girl. I went under the theory that I could use my own unconscious mannerisms to my advantage.
Wanna push it one way or the other? Music. Find a song you really like in the guy mode or girl mode, put it on, and literally make yourself start dancing to it. Just take that deeeeeeep breath, and start dancing. Thrash to Behemoth, dance to Britney, whatever gets you going either way.
*hop*
I'm told this is called 'mindful meditation'. I just call it 'seems like it'd make sense'. Environment is also big... being around stereotypically feminine or masculine surroundings, the clothes you wear, etc.
Aaaand there you have it, how I change gender. On the fly, run through a good song in my head, maybe tap my foot a bit, take that deep breath, and just... think my way into the desired gender.
Hopefully that helped, I'm sure it sounded bizarre to cisgender folk.
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Comics, ideas, Kabutroid, and other custom content owned by KatieLynne Jackson. I'm pretty easygoing, and really don't mind all that much if you make content based on my content and stuff. Just don't go impersonating me and we're cool.
