ZORT
Eh... I originally tried putting it without the swear, but it just... didn't have the impact that I wanted it. So if you're offended by swearing, a) why are you reading this comic, and b) deal with it, you haven't seen it in a while.
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COOL, WHAT'S DIFFERENT?
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY GET US OUT OF HERE!!!
SOMETHING BAD THEN?
MERCIFUL CRAP, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
OH, DON'T BE MELODRAMATIC. LEMME TAKE A LOOK AND SEE WHA-OH HOLY HELL IN A HANDBASKET, IF THAT WHITE CRAP TOUCHES YOU, YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Hmm, well let's see. Maybe you should GO ABOUT FUCKING FIXING IT THEN!
YEAH, YEAH, HOLD YOUR HORSES. GIMME A SECOND.
MOMMY!
*SLURP*
*click* *click* *clickclickclick* *click*
*ZORT*
-All systems returning to normal. Stable uplink confirmed. Optimal system state has been achieved.-
AHH, THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF IT.
... That's it?!? All of Planet Zebeth prior to ZR388, and the past few weeks... and all problems in their entirity could have been fixed with SIX BUTTON PUSHES?!?
WELL, NOT QUITE. BECAUSE OF THE SWITCH TO THE NEW SYSTEM, I HAD TO PUSH TWO MORE KEYS THAN IF I HAD DONE IT WAY BACK ON ZEBETH BEFORE THE TRANSFER.
... THEN WHY THE BLUE MONKEY HELL DID YOU NOT DO IT BACK THEN?!?
EH, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT THEN. YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF MY APATHY.
... AUGH! Words can't even DESCRIBE the amount of torture I'm mentally putting your body through right now!
Metroid, Samus, Kraid, and the rest of 'em are all property of Nintendo, who to my knowledge wouldn't do anything such as sue me or shut poor Planet Zebeth down, because they're so damn nice, and Metroid kicks ass : }
This particular comic strip was made solely by me, by that happy little program known as KolourPaint. Yes, the one that everyone runs in fear from. That's why the comic looks the way it does.
