Pokemon fight back

Well, it's been a long time since I've last written, what with work getting in the way. However, I have been layed off of work as of a couple days ago, so I'm feeling pretty miserable at this particular moment. Now, what better way to get rid of misery than to write some depraved, twisted stories to warp the minds of all those who read it? There IS no better way to while away the misery (for me). I even re-read the last chapter to see where I was and what ideas I may have had. I apparently had no ideas for next chapter, so this is ENTIRELY improv. I don't think even one sentence ahead of where I am currently writing. And this series is the kinda stuff you get. Sweet, huh?

So, here we have:

Chapter 17: Onward to Celadon

Eric woke up from a deep sleep, feeling his hair still slightly stick to the pillow.

"Oh fuck.", muttered Eric. "Do I STILL have some fucking blood in my hair?"

Eric wandered over to the sink and rinsed his hair one more time, seeing the water in the sink turn to a slightly reddish-brown color.

"God that's disgusting.", said Eric, scrubbing the complementary shampoo into his hair.

Once he was done washing, he opened the door to his room, only to find a note pinned to the front of the door with a bloody razor blade.

"Well, this is pleasant to wake up to.", muttered Eric as Jane emerged from her door.

"What's up?", asked Jane in a groggy voice.

"It seems a friend has found me.", said Eric, tearing the note from the door. "Got me a present here."

"What's it say?", asked Jane anxiously.

"Gimme a minute.", said Eric, scanning over the note. "'Blah, blah, blah... hate your guts... die, die, die... your hated enemy, Bill.'"

"Well, looks like Bill's reached stalkerhood.", said Jane. "That ain't good."

"I think I'm pretty safe.", started Eric. "The only thing that one-handed asshole can do since I smashed his hand is screw himself."

"In theory.", said Jane. "But he DID follow you here."

"So what.", said Eric. "He's probably looking for a hospital or something stupid."

"Your acting pretty calm for someone who's being stalked.", said Jane questioningly.

"I beat the piss outta him before, I can do it again.", said Eric. "Besides, he's too gutless to break INTO my room."

"As little comfort there is in that.", said Jane.

"Fuck this.", said Eric, crumpling up the note. "I'm too hungry to piss around here any more."

"Uhh, what about Bill?", asked Jane.

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.", said Eric, starting downstairs.

As they arrived downstairs, Eric ordered a plate of pancakes (today's special), while Jane ordered a bowl of frosted flakes. The devoured their breakfasts in under five minutes and began to head out. Eric stuck with his Florin/Pikachu/Nidoran(male) combo and deposited the Clefairy. Jane kept out Inferno, Pinsir, and Pidgey. They decided to go to the store to get some more pokeballs, seeing as they had about three between the two of them.

Upon entering the store, they noticed two displays of pokeballs in front of them, one looking a little more aerodynamic than the other, and twice the price.

"Well, this is new.", said Eric, looking at the displays. "Says here these other ones are called 'superballs', and they catch Pokemon better."

"Still pretty cheap compared to other stuff in the store.", said Jane.

"Yeah, and I've compiled a mess of cash from beating the piss outta other trainers.", replied Eric. "Methinks I'll buy about eight more of these, to round me out to ten random pokeballs."

"I'm only going to buy another five.", said Jane. "I'm not going to catch as much as you. I'll just look at your Pokemon on my pokedex."

"It'll cost ya.", said Eric laughing.

"Yeah, I'll bet.", said Jane, grabbing the superballs.

As they finished making their purchases, the clerk asked if they were having any Pokemon renamed at the Pokemon namer.

"Who the hell is that?", asked Eric.

"He's the only person that we know of who can change a Pokemon's name.", said the clerk. "He lives a couple houses down. First driveway to your right when you leave." *

"Sweet.", said Eric as he left the store. "Course, I'll only bother to rename Nidoran."

"Why's that?", asked Jane.

"Well, when I find some better Pokemon, Pikachu's history.", replied Eric.

"That'll do it.", said Jane. "Let's have us a look see at this place."

With that, they dumped their superballs into their backpacks and headed over to the house. Upon arrival, a man was sitting in a seat beside several random, small tools.

"You the re-naming guy?", asked Eric.

"That would be me.", said the man. "You want anyone renamed?"

"Depends.", replied Eric. "How much is this gonna set me back?"

"This service is free of charge.", said the man. "I don't do it for money, I do it for the love of Pokemon."

"Sure, whatever.", said Eric, pulling out Nidoran's pokeball. "Can I get this Nidoran renamed, or can you only do certain ones?"

"No, no, I can do it.", said the man, taking the pokeball. "What do you want his name to be?"

"Call him 'Quake'.", said Eric grinning. "I likes the sound of that."

"One moment here.", said the man, piercing the pokeball with several extremely thin needles. He then took a small handheld laser and shone it directly into the pokeball between the triangle created by the needles. Moving the laser around slightly, the pokeball began to glow slightly, finally shuddering and returning to normal. **

"What the heck did you do?", asked Eric quickly. "Did it work?"

"Only one way to check.", said the man, tossing the pokeball to the ground. "Go Quake!"

Nidoran popped out of his pokeball, responding to the name Quake as he would the name Nidoran.

"Ni-nidor.", said Quake.

"Sweet.", said Eric. "Gimme, gimme, gimme."

Eric took the pokeball back from the man. "Quake, return."

"Nidor.", said Quake, zapping back into his pokeball.

"Oh yeah.", said Eric. "Quake has arrived."

"My turn.", said Jane, ceasing her quietness up until now. "Can you rename this Pinsir?"

"What shall his name be?", asked the man.

"Hmmm...", thought Jane for a moment. "Call him 'Blade'."

"Nice name.", said Eric nodding his approval. ***

"Indeed.", said Jane, watching the man do his work.

"Complete.", said the man. "Let's give him a try, shall we? Go Blade!"

"Uhh.", started Jane as the man released the ball.

"Pin-pin!", said Blade, looking around. Seeing the unfamiliar man, he began to walk towards him, prepared for more work.

"Ohgooditworksletmegethimbacknow.", said Jane, quickly picking up the pokeball. "Back Pinsir... Blade."

Blade returned to his pokeball just as he was getting ready to rush the man.

"That was odd.", said Eric. "You jealous that he was walking towards the naming guy?", he continued laughing.

"Not quite.", said Jane. "Thanks for the change in name."

"No problem.", said the man. "Come back anytime."

"I think I might just do that.", said Eric. "But for now, we have a tower-thingy to search."

"If you're referring to Pokemon tower, you can't enter it unless you have the silph-scope.", said the man quickly.

"Wuzzat?", said Eric, turning around quickly.

"It allows you to see ghostly Pokemon in the tower.", said the man. "But Team Ricochet stole the tower copy and the blueprints on how to make it."

"WHAT?", said Jane angrily. "Well that's a kick in the ass."

"I believe they took it to one of their headquarters in Celadon.", said the man.

"Do we NEED to ever go to the tower?", asked Eric.

"There's a Snorlax in your path if you wish to continue otherwise.", said the man. "The poke-flute is needed to wake him, and only Mr. Fuji knows where to get them.", started the man. "He's been trapped in the tower for some time now, but noone is able to save him without the silph-scope."

"Well fuck me.", said Eric, annoyed. "Why the hell must this be so fucking difficult?"

As they left the building, they figured that Celadon would be somewhere to the west. **** With that thought, they hopped onto their bikes and headed off to Celadon. Five minutes into the trip, a man stepped in front of them.

"Pokemon battle!", shouted the man.

"Ah, damnit.", said Eric. "Well, I suppose I could use some more money."

"Lemme take him.", said Jane. "I see several others up ahead. We'll cut our time if we split up for now."

"Good call.", said Eric, starting onward.

When Eric was out of immediate hearing range, Jane looked at the man who was impatiently standing beside her.

"We battling or what?", said the man.

"I am, don't know about you.", said Jane. "I just about fell off my fucking bike because you jumped in the fucking path."

"Well sorry if you're a bad biker.", said the man.

"Fuck you asshole!", said Jane, grabbing a pokeball. "Inferno, GO. I'm going to get you some experience."

"Char-charmel.", said Inferno, looking around.

"Go Koffing!", shouted the man. *****

"Inferno, flamethrow that sucker!", said Jane.

"Koffing!", said the man at the same time. "Get some smokescreen happening here."

"Koffing!", said the Koffing, beating Inferno to the punch. He suddenly spewed out a mess of black smoke directly towards Inferno. Inferno, unable to see momentarily, flamethrew about a foot beside Koffing.

"Damnit.", said Jane. "Try again Inferno."

"More smokescreen here Koffing.", said the man, laughing.

"Charmeleon!", said Inferno, blasting flame about two feet beside Koffing this time.

"Fuck you man.", said Jane. "I just wanna get the hell outta here."

"Tough shit.", said the man. "Just for that, I'm going to smokescreen until you give up and surrender to me."

"Piece of fucking shit!", said Jane, pointing towards the man. "Inferno, screw that fucking Koffing, try to burn that asshole over there.

"Ooohhhh, scary.", said the man. "But I've never seen a Pokemon attack a human. That's like a seeing a wild Ratatta attack a Golem."

"Char?", said Inferno, looking at Jane questioningly.

"Come on Inferno!", shouted Jane. "I'm sure you've fucking heard Pinsir's bragging by now." #

"Char-charman.", said Inferno in confirmation. He once again turned to the other trainer and blasted a searing hot flame towards him.

"HOLY SHIT!", shouted the trainer, suddenly being enveloped in flame. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST FUCKING SHIT!!!"

Jane watched as Inferno shot another flame at the burning man. By now he had stopped making any sounds, as the heat of the flames had melted his windpipe shut. Jane could smell the aroma of cooking flesh as she watched the man's skin melt from his face, falling to the ground in large clumps. As the bones underneath began to brown, she came to the full realization that she had become a mass murderer, and relished the sheer thought. For some reason, the thought of being a mass murdered brought her to ecstasy. She loved hearing their screams of pain, watching them take their final breath of air. She stood there, watching as the flames turned the man into merely a pile of ash. The ground for three feet around the man had been scorched to the dirt underneath.

Inferno, having nothing left to burn, turned towards the Koffing, which was standing idly by, watching in horror as his master was killed in front of his eyes. Seeing Inferno turn to him, he suddenly shot up into the sky and flew away as fast as he humanly could. ##

"Beautiful, isn't it.", said Jane, watching the flames lower on the pile of ash.

"Jane!", shouted Eric from the distance. "What's up with the fire?"

"Huh?", said Jane, turning around, seeing Eric run towards her."

"What's with the fire?", asked Eric. "I just polished off another two trainers and saw a flame from over here."

"Well...", said Jane, thinking faster than usual. "The trainer I was trying to take kept smokescreening Inferno, so after I beat him... we decided to have a little fire to celebrate."

"Yeah, I can see how smokescreen might piss you off.", said Eric, looking at the murky cloud of smokescreen still hovering several feet to the left of them. "Where'd the trainer go?"

"I think he was pissed off at me and left.", said Jane slowly. She looked at the fire for any traces of bone that might be left. To her dismay, she saw several charred bits of bone that stuck out slightly from the ash.

"What the fuck did you cook?", asked Eric, looking at the bones. "I thought I smelled burning meat in the air."

"I burned a bush.", said Jane quickly. "A Pidgey or Ratatta might have been sitting in it when Inferno toasted it."

"God damn.", said Eric, stepping back from the pile of ash. "Watch what you're doing next time."

"I didn't fucking know!", said Jane quickly.

"Well look from now on.", said Eric angrily. "Why the hell are you getting mad anyway? That time of the month?"

"Shutup.", said Jane. "Let's just head out."

"Bull's eye!", said Eric laughing loudly. "I always said, 'never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.'"

"Fuck you.", said Jane, calling Inferno back, who was still searching the sky for Koffing. "Back Inferno."

"Oh come on, it's just a joke.", said Eric, following her. "Lighten up."

Jane decided to let it go. Eric seemed to have found an excuse for the way she acted for her, and that seemed to suite her fine. After several more battles, which Eric insisted on taking, they came up to another underground path that would lead them into Celadon. During the battles, Eric had managed to evolve Quake into a Nidorino. He planned, however, to save his moon stone until Quake had learned Double Kick, a powerful fighting attack. As they reached the end of the tunnel, they decided to call it a day. Tomorrow, they had planned a strict layout of the day. Find Team Ricochet. Beat the piss out of Team Ricochet. Get Silph-scope.

"Don't forget to heal up your Pokemon.", said Eric as he entered the pokecenter.

"Yeah, yeah.", said Jane, pulling out her pokeballs.

"You still pissed at that remark?", asked Eric. "God damn, it MUST be that time of the month."

"I said crab up.", said Jane, giving the healing clerk her Pokemon.

"Must suck to be you Pokemon, having to work around you.", continued Eric, laughing.

"You want that handlebar jammed up your ass?", asked Jane.

"Ok, shutting up now.", said Eric. "Shutting is what I'm doing up."

"And keep it that way if you wanna keep your balls intact.", said Jane.

"Consider it done.", said Eric, smirking as they got their room keys. "Four days of this and counting."

"You just don't let up, do you?", asked Jane, grabbing her key and pokeballs.

"When mules fly.", said Eric, grabbing his pokeballs and starting up the stairs. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah.", answered Jane, heading upstairs.

Jane headed to the shower first, getting the smell of smoke and burned flesh out of her hair. Today, she had realized her calling. To rid the world of the asinine. To destroy those who opposed her. And to realize this, it felt great.

* : Well, seeing as my group isn't busting into everyone's house, I'll just have someone tell them where this guy is.

** : I figured we should see exactly HOW this is done. Seeing as it can only be done by one individual, so it must be fancy and complex.

*** : This is actually what I called my Pinsir, who is currently on his way to becoming level 100.

**** : Assuming up is north, down is south, etc, etc.

***** : Not sure if the bikers with poison Pokemon are here, but what the hell, sure they can start to appear here.

# : As seen in the Pokemon, the first movie, different species of Pokemon CAN communicate with eachother.

## : I'm assuming that a Koffing can fly, seeing as it doesn't have feet or arms or skin like a snake.

Will Jane kill Eric? Will Inferno go out of control? Will Jane's Pokemon attack eachother? Has Joseph gotten a new Pokemon? Is Bill capable of fighting? And what of Kris? Honestly, why did I forget about Kris? I just remembered that I planned to stuff him into this chapter, but forgot, so when will I toss him in?

Answers to... actually the brunt of these in the coming chapters.

Kabutroid