Pokemon Fight Back


... And after a long rest of getting layed of three times, it's time to expunge some misery. Yes, that's right... no one, not two, but three fucking jobs. Don't get me wrong... I did a good job. It's just that those bastards at MCM and AC+S and said that work was slowing down, so out I went. As for #2 job, those assholes just didn't tell me I was temporarily filling in for someone. Makes me want to ram a grenade into their exhaust pipe and tie the pin to the tire. Or failing that, shoot them with a nailgun until their fate is sealed. And the best I left for last. On Christmas Eve, my fucking CAR WAS WRITTEN OFF!!! SOME BRAINLESS FUCK REAR-ENDED US ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY!!!

Hmm... got a little off track there. Perhaps it's best if I write now. This chapter is a little less, how you say, painful as the last. I'm right now cutting through some stuff and expanding new plots into the twisted unknown.

Chapter 19: The Truth

Eric and Jane biked for about twenty minutes nonstop. They quickly reached the tunnel and headed in, where they quickly found their way back to Lavender.

"Couldn't they fucking supply Silph scopes somewhere in Lavender?", asked Eric.

"I was just thinking the same thing...", said Jane wonderingly.

"Hell, they'd get a lotta money out of the deal.", said Eric, looking at the recently visited buildings.

"I guess Silph co. didn't wanna sell this shit.", said Jane, pulling the glasses out of her backpack. "Pretty cheap looking junk anyway."

"Well whatever you do don't break them!", said Eric, watching nervously as Jane swung them around by their earpiece.

"Hey, let's heal up first.", said Jane. "I didn't get a chance to heal after I came out of that building."

"Good thinking.", replied Eric. "Boy, would I have been pissed off if I wandered into that ghost place and found myself short a mess of health and attacks."

"The attacks would piss you off, but you should still have some cola or something.", said Jane.

"Yeah, but that's emergency cola.", said Eric. "The best, cheapest way is always my method."

"True, true.", said Jane as they dismounted their bikes and entered the pokecenter.

Looking around, they quickly gave their pokeballs to the receptionist and sat back for a minute, a little tired from the ride. Eric, staring at the ceiling and counting the tiles while waiting, decided to sort the garbage in his backpack. After sorting, and receiving is Pokemon, decided that it was time to upgrade Quake's move list and give him "rock slide".

"Not gonna sell it?", asked Jane, watching Eric pull out the TM.

"Nope. Looks good, not many rock attacks, hence Quake gets kickass.", replied Eric, hooking up the TM to Quake's pokeball.

"What skill are you going to dump overboard?", asked Jane curiously.

"Well, he's got horn attack, poison sting, focus energy, and fury attack.", started Eric. "So I'm thinking of dumping one of the normal attacks. Horn attack I think."

"Nice plan.", replied Jane.

"Here ya go fella.", said Eric, setting the TM to erase the first attack and replace it with rock slide. The ball shuddered slightly and was still, the TM itself being ejected from the side, used up and useless. *

"Sweet... can't wait to test this sucker out.", said Eric, patting Quake's pokeball.

"I've heard there's an earthquake TM somewhere. If I can find that thing and cram it into Quake, he'll end up with rock slide, earthquake, double kick and horn drill!", said Eric enthusiastically. "Although I'm considering tossing the horn drill that he'll learn later and giving him toxic, wherever that is."

"God damn, you've actually thought this one through thoroughly, haven't you?", said Jane, surprised.

"You'd be surprised what my shitty brain is capable of.", said Eric, tapping his head.

After finally heading out of the pokecenter, they finally reached their goal. Pokemon tower. Upon wandering inside, they looked around and saw some cobwebbed stairs heading upward in the corner. Heading upstairs, they prepared for the unknown.

"You want the glasses, or should I start with the messy work?", asked Eric.

"Ahhh...., you can be first at bat.", said Jane, giving him the glasses.

"Shweet.", said Eric, putting them on.

"BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!", laughed Jane suddenly. "I never realized how truly stupid those glasses make you look."

"Yeah, fuck off.", said Eric. "They'd look just as stupid on you."

"More than likely.", said Jane. "Except that you're wearing them, and I'm not."

"Just wait until it's your turn, then...", started Eric, when he was interrupted.

"GYAAAA!!!", screamed an old woman coming towards him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!", shouted Eric, nearly falling down from being startled.

At this point, the old woman threw a pokeball onto the ground, which Eric could now see was a Gastly. Pulling out Quake, he prepared tossed the pokeball to the ground. Jane, in the meantime, couldn't see what emerged from the old woman's pokeball.

"What the fuck is she attacking with?", asked Jane.

"Gastly.", replied Eric. "Christ, that thing's so gaseous, I can kinda see through the damn thing."

"All I'm seeing is a blurry area ahead of me, like I'm looking through warped glass.", said Jane, squinting at the shape. "Damn thing's giving me a headache."

"Quake, let's see if some rocks will hurt that damn thing.", instructed Eric.

"Nidor!", said Quake, swiping an unusually large pile of rocks at the Gastly.

"Gast!", said the Gastly, obviously very hurt by the attack. It returned in like, flying up and licking Quake.

"Nidor?", said Quake questioningly, looking virtually unhurt by the attack.

"Boy, that did fuck-all.", said Eric, smirking.

"Nidor.", said Quake, whipping another pile of rocks at Gastly, who collapsed into a gaseous heap on the ground.

"Ah, thanks for that.", said the old woman.

"Thanks?", said Jane. "He just beat the living piss out of your Gastly!"

"But you see, I was possessed by the evil in this place.", replied the old woman. "The spell can only be broken if my Pokemon is beaten."

"Doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense, but whatever works.", said Eric, recalling Quake.

Walking away, Eric and Jane wandered around the pseudo-maze and saw another set of stairs going upward in the distance. After "saving" some other possessed people (netting both easy experience and money), they prepared to ascend the steps when they heard a somewhat familiar voice.

"We meet again.", said Kris.

"Well I'll be fucked, if it isn't Kris!", said Eric, surprised. "How's it been?"

"Not bad, not bad at all.", said Kris. "Actually, I'm here for the same thing as you. The pokeflute. There's only one in existance." **

"Tough beans, it's mine.", said Eric, cutting off his path to the stairs. "And how the hell did you get here so fast?"

"Uncle Gene gave me virtually a truckload of money to start me off. It comes in quite handy. Scientists of his nature make quite a bit.", replied Kris.

"Bah.", said Eric in disgust. "If there's anything I can't stand, it's rich people flaunting their money, and people who take the cheap way out. Yet you manage to fall under both of those categories."

"Uhh, Eric?", started Jane. "You're cheap as hell too."

"Hey, did I say I like myself?", said Eric sarcastically. "Besides, it's only all right if it's me."

"I'll bet.", said Jane.

"Ok, we gonna jabber on all day, or are we going to battle to see who continues?", said Kris.

"Yeah, but if Eric looses, I'm taking over.", said Jane.

"Oh for God sake, you can't do that!", said Kris.

"Stop me.", replied Jane. "I hope you're damn leveled up."

"Fuck this.", said Kris. "For the record, I hate your guts and wish you were hit by a truck."

"I like you too.", said Jane. "Don't fall down the stairs when you leave."

"Piss off.", said Kris, walking away. ***

"Nice one.", said Eric. "That'll save us some health."

"Like you said... cheap is good, but only if we're the ones doing it.", replied Jane.

"Indeed.", said Eric, heading upstairs.

After many short battles with abnormally weak lick attacks, they find themselves near the top floor of the building. Eric sees that a Marowak seems to be guarding the steps, and beats the living daylights (as much as there is in a building without windows) out of it with Florin's razor leaf attack. Heading upstairs, Eric takes a couple more trainers down, not really suffering much other than running out of rock slide and resorting to Florin for the last several trainers. To Eric's surprise, Florin evolved into a Venusaur, upping his stats quite nicely. All the while, Jane stumbled around, unable to clearly see absolutely anything without the Silph scope. During the wanderings, Eric managed to catch a Gastly of his own, naming him "Forsaken". Soon, he and Jane find themselves talking to Mr. Fuji.

"You have freed the poor ghost's spirit from the tower.", said Mr. Fuji. "I am forever in your debt."

"As many possibilities as that has, we just need the pokeflute and we'll be on our way.", replied Jane.

"Consider it yours.", said Mr. Fuji. "Use it wisely."

"Thanks.", said Eric, taking the flute. "You have any clue where we're supposed to go now?"

"Well, what are you doing, for one?", asked Mr. Fuji.

"Oh come on, isn't it obvious?", asked Eric. "We're trying to get all the stupid gym badges so we can waste the Elite Four. That way, we will have completed step one to take over the world!"

"...one is a genius, the other's insane...", hummed Jane, trying not to laugh at how true she realized that statement to be. ****

"Huh?", stammered Mr. Fuji.

"It's sarcasm.", said Eric. "Look it up."

"I am unfamiliar with your humour.", said Mr. Fuji.

"Don't worry.", said Eric. "Some people are just born stupid."

"And while some people are angry, others are just jerks.", replied Mr. Fuji.

"Nuts to this.", said Eric. "Let's split."

"Alright...", said Jane, trying to figure out when everyone but her started acting like a prick.

After heading out of the building, the duo decided to head into Saffron. Despite the fact that they weren't allowed there several weeks ago (the specific reason eluded them), they headed into the gate-guard's building.

"Sorry, you can't go there now.", said the guard.

"Why the fuck not?", asked Eric. "At least give me a valid reason."

"I'm thirsty.", said the guard. "I could really go for something cold and fizzy right about now..."

"Who the fuck cares?!?", said Eric, almost screaming. "Why the bloody hell are the road's closed?"

"Sigh...", began the guard. "Let me make it easier on you. 'I'm thirsty, wink, wink. I could really use something to drink, nudge, nudge.' Are you picking anything up here?"

"Oh, so you're a prick who can be bribed with water?", said Eric.

"No....", said the guard. "I'm a prick who won't let you pass the fucking gate unless you cough up something to drink because I'm thirsty."

"Give me a minute...", said Jane, walking out of the building, dragging Eric out of the building with her.

"Just lemme give the jackass a coke for god sake.", said Eric when they had left.

"I'll be damned if that prick is getting one hint of bribe out of us.", said Jane, heading towards a parking lot. "Just because he's a guard gone bad, doesn't mean I'm caving."

"And what are you going to do?", asked Eric. "He's about twice our size put together and half as smart. That's a bad combination."

"I plan to rid the world of the asinine.", said Jane, looking in the backs of all the trucks.

"What the hell are you stealing?", said Eric, following Jane as she walked in-between vehicles.

"Borrowing.", said Jane. "And here it is."

Jane walked up to an '87 Dodge Ram and took a five foot length of chain from the box. Coiling it into her backpack, she headed back towards the guard.

"Uhh, don't you think this is getting a little out of hand?", said Eric.

"Not according to me.", said Jane. "Now look. You killed a mess of Pokemon because they pissed you off, right?"

"I guess, but...", started Eric.

"DA-AH-AH-AH!", shouted Jane, cutting him off. "And are humans simply Pokemon as well, just further evolved than all others?" *****

"That's true, but...", started Eric again.

"LEMME FINISH!", said Jane loudly. "So if you can kill one Pokemon without worries, can I not harm another without those specific worries as well?"

"Theoretically.", said Eric. "But this is kind of against the law."

"So's killing Electabuzz.", said Jane. "Those damn things are on the endangered species list."

"ALRIGHT, FINE!", shouted Eric. "Just do whatever the fuck you wanna do. I know I can't argue with you once you think you're right."

"Good.", said Jane.

"Why the fuck do women always have to be right, huh?", asked Eric. "Just admit you're fucking wrong once in your life. It'd make thinks an assload easier on us."

"Tough.", replied Jane. "It's go time."

Upon entering the building, the guard looked over at them.

"You got my drink yet?", asked the guard.

"Just let me get it from my bag.", said Jane, reaching into her backpack. As she reached in, she pointed at the opposite door and screamed at the top of her lungs, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"

"Huh?", said the guard, whipping his head towards the other exit to see what had scared Jane. At this point, Jane swung the chain out from her bag and it whipped against the guard's side.

"AARRGG!!! WHAT THE CUNT ARE YOU DOING!!!", screamed the guard, clutching his side.

"Bribing you.", said Jane, whipping the chain against the side of the guard's face, slicing it open.

"FUCK!!!", screamed the guard, dropping to the ground. Although, the sound that came out of his mouth was more like "fahhh", since the chain has shattered his jawbone.

"DRINK THIS SMILEY JOE!", screamed Jane as she swung the chain against the guard's back. The clear sound of ribs breaking filled the room.

"Jesus Christ!", said Eric, watching Jane go nuts on the guard. "Now THAT'S hatred!"

"Give... you... a cup... of... blood!", shouted Jane at each swing of the chain. "Drink... this!"

By now the chain was just thwacking the dead body of the guard. Blood was splattering over the side of the counter. All Eric could see from his vantage point was that the guard's face looking more and more like a psychotic stew of blood, bone, and brain. Yet he could not look away. He now knew what Jane was. Insane. The thing that he didn't realize was yet to come. What he didn't realize was that he enjoyed the entire thing. Right now, all he could do was stare at the chain, falling and rising from the body. Jane's odd smile as she worked every muscle in her body. What he would come to realize in the near future is that he and Jane were soulmates, linked through insanity.


* : Well, I was thinking one day... where DOES the TM go after you use it, huh? I'm thinking that the energy inside is used, and the mechanical hardware outside is disposed of afterward. Makes sense...

** : I'm going to assume this seeing as I've never seen another trainer or rival use it. And why else would he be there, huh?

*** : For one, I don't want to write out a long battle, and two, this leads to future plot lines.

**** : If you don't know where this is from, look up "Pinky and the Brain".

***** : I'm assuming that the word "Pokemon" translates to "animal".

Can this friendship exist? Can it be defined as a friendship? Will Eric turn Jane in? Will the everlasting duo be forced apart? Will Autopac give me $2000 for what's left of my car? Will Team Ricochet use this to their advantage? Will they live to try?

Answers to... hmm... actually... possibly all of the in the next few chapters, assuming that I remember to mention the car settlement in the intro to Chapter 20. I'll have to ponder that one...


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