A terrible mistake
I have made a terrible, terrible mistake by testing this pudding. Perhaps an exorcism is required prior to eating.
As an added bonus, I emailed the company describing the pudding as exactly what I said in the comic. I never got a reply email, but I DID receive the following in the regular mail:
Yeah... didn't meet my expectations? No, it was just a little off. Just a touch. They also sent me a coupon for $3.50, the price of the pudding. Wow... now I can buy more of that slop. Well, at least I can get Handi-Snacks or something... except the gas to go to the store costs more than what the coupon is worth :P
People who know me know that I tend to be of a curious, adventurous nature... quite a bit so when it comes to food. So when I noticed that there existed bubble-gum and cotton-candy flavoured pudding, I just HAD to give it a try. Damn curiosity.
-Bubble Gum - Cotton Candy-
So I tried the cotton-candy flavour first. How can you screw up cotton-candy after all? It should be sugar flavoured pudding! But no, it tasted vaguely like bubble-gum. Perhaps pubble gum that has lost virtually all flavour.
The texture is that of some bizarre, cold, melted, runny, liquid rubber substance. It's as if someone were to have melted a shoe-sole with bubble-gum stuck to the bottom, and kept it liquid when it cooled down somehow. If one could drink a linoleum floor, I imagine this would be the taste.
It coated my tongue much like a slurpee made entirely of syrup... but tastes like two-day chewed gum. If I had a cotton-candy flavoured like this, I would burn the machine. My tongue is having a difficult time forgiving me for this atrocity.
Next, I tried the bubble-gum flavoured pudding. I mean... I like bubble-gum flavoured ice-cream, so why not pudding? And if cotton-candy already tasted kinda like gum, then it stands to reason that the company knows a bit about the flavour.
Well... it tasted bubble-gumish, like the other pudding, but somehow far more sinister and painful. It's like some demented scientist decided to cross the taste of old styrofoam with the world's worst bubble-gum, and manufacture it into a pudding for children.
It coated my tongue worse than the first pudding, and no amount of coffee could remove the taste. HOW it passed the food inspection agency, I'll never know. It was like eating melted vinyl shoe. If food were a religion, this would be the antichrist.
Ironically, the only thing that stripped that vile, vomit-inducing taste from my tongue was some actual gum. Some very strongly flavoured gum. If you see this in stores, RUN! I'm fairly certain that the existence of this sludge signals the coming of the four horsement of the apocalypse.
Metroid, Samus, Kraid, and the rest of 'em are all property of Nintendo, who to my knowledge wouldn't do anything such as sue me or shut poor Planet Zebeth down, because they're so damn nice, and Metroid kicks ass : }
This particular comic strip was made solely by me, by that happy little program known as KolourPaint. Yes, the one that everyone runs in fear from. That's why the comic looks the way it does.