Pokemon Fight Back

Well, I'm nice and depressed today. The past few weeks of my life have been miserably boring, and abso-fucking-lutely everything that I try to do manages to screw up horribly. Let's just say it's time I vent this misery onto paper, as opposed to coworkers and the like. Well, now that the pseudo-intro is done, it be time to write some... stuff.

Chapter 27: Vladmere

Eric awoke refreshed. He felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his mind. Hopping out of bed, unused to the pleasant form of waking up, he grabbed his gear and wandered downstairs. Upon looking around the room, he could find Jane nowhere to be found.

"Strange.", said Eric. "Usually she's awake before me."

"Who's that?", asked the pokecenter attendant.

"Oh, my friend Jane.", said Eric. "It's just that they usually wake up before I do."

"If you mean that chick who had a weird, really big shell following them, they're outside somewhere.", said the attendant.

"Really?", said Eric. "Thanks for the info."

"No prob.", said the attendant as Eric stepped outside.

Eric walked outside, looking around. The sun was already fairly high in the sky at this point. Glancing at his watch, he realized that it was already 11:20 in the morning. Walking further away from the pokecenter, Eric heard some rustling in the bushes.

"Meh, why not?", said Eric out loud. "Go Omanyte!"

"Oma!", said Omanyte, emerging from the pokeball.

"Time to get you your first taste of battle experience.", said Eric. "Let's go a huntin'"

"Shaddup!", said Jane's voice from past the bushes. "You're scaring away the Pidgey's."

"So that's where you went.", said Eric, stepping into the bushes, finding Jane watch Blargg attack a Pidgey.

"Been training him since 8:00 this morning.", said Jane. "I'm determined to get him evolved soon."

"How's he doing?", asked Eric, as he watched Blargg cleanly slice off the Pidgey's head with one of his claws.

"Not bad, but he's only gone up one level.", said Jane. "The crap here is way too easy."

"True, true.", said Eric. "I see you've taught him the deadly arts of... deadly arts."

"He be a mean, scratchin', killin' machine.", said Jane, patting Blargg on the shell.

"Kab.", said Blargg, nuzzling into Jane's leg (as much as a shelled creature can nuzzle, of course).

"You ready to waste some gym?", said Jane.

"Yeah.", said Eric, perking up. "You wanna come watch?"

"Nuts to that.", said Jane. " I wanna take one or two of the pre-trainers if you don't mind."

"Sure, why not?", said Eric. "I usually avoid some of them seeing me if I can help it anyway."

"Sweet.", said Jane as they wandered over towards the gym.

As they walked over to the gym, an old man with a sad look on his face stopped them before they entered.

"You hear what happened in Pallet town?", said the old man.

"No, what's up?", said Jane, cocking an eyebrow curiously.

"Professor Pine's family has been brutally murdered while he slept.", said the old man, tears running down his face. "<sniff><sniff>H-he was a good f-friend of mine."

"Do they know who did it?", asked Eric quickly.

"Ain't sure.", said the old man. "Last I heard, they suspected it was some chick by the name of Janet or Julie or something."

"... Really?", said Jane. "They have any clues?"

"Naw.", said the old man, sniffling some more. "It's just that Professor Pine banned some young punks from town, and they think it might be revenge. Course, Professor Pine had lots of people jealous of his knowledge and fame through the years."

"Interesting.", said Eric. "Yeah... I've heard that some kinds of rivals can just snap after lots of years of the same kinda thing."

"It be sad.", said the old man, shaking his head. "I hope they find those pathetic losers and rip their throats out."

At this point, the old man just began to stare into the distance. Eric tried to wave his hand in front of the old man's eyes, but his pupils didn't change or move in the least. Opening the gym doors, they walked inside and closed the door behind them. Turning towards the gym, they headed to the first of what seemed to be many trainers.

"Time to rock.", said the first trainer, stepping forward. "This should be... hey, it's you!"

"What's me?", said Eric questioningly.

"Oh man, this is going to be sweet.", said the trainer. "I'll leave you for the gym leader, but first it's time to waste your Pokemon."

"Cocky little punk, ain't ya?", said Eric. "Well, let's get this show on the road. GO FLORIN!"

"Venusaur!", said Florin, anxious for some action.

"Florin?", said the trainer, hesitating before he released his Pokemon. "... Florin???"

"Ok, now I'm just wasting you on principle.", said Eric. "Let's see what you've got."

"Alrighty then.", said the trainer. "Go Rhydon!"

"Rhy!", shouted Rhydon, also awaiting a good battle.

"HAH!", shouted Eric. "Florin, razor leaf that bastard."

"Ven.", said Florin, whipping dozens of leaves, spinning at a blurring speed towards the Rhydon. The leaves sliced deep into his side, but the Rhydon remained standing, brushing off the leaves.

"Ooohhh, Eric doesn't need this.", said Eric.

"Rhydon!", began the trainer. "Horn drill that thing into next Tuesday."

"Rhy!", said Rhydon, running at full speed towards Florin. Not looking worried, Florin merely sidestepped the charging Rhydon, who proceeded to slam into the wall behind them.

"Way to choose an accurate attack.", said Jane, watching from the sidelines.

"Well, rock versus plant, I gotta go with what would take out the plant instantly.", retorted the trainer. "Now Rhydon, try again."

"Rhyd!", shouted Rhydon once more, charging Florin, who once again sidestepped the beast. Only this time, Rhydon expected this and took this into account, purposely swinging his horn to the right as he neared Florin. Florin was sent flying and slammed into the wall ten feet away, dropping to the ground and showing a gaping wound in his side.

"NO!", shouted Eric. "Alright you worthless bastard, it's time to annihilate you."

"Try it.", said the trainer, still looking at the Venusaur, now lying unconscious on the floor.

"Back, what's left of Florin.", said Eric. "Omanyte, let's get you a crapload of experience."

"Oman.", said Omanyte, landing on the ground in front of Eric, finally slurping over towards Rhydon.

"You're attacking with a snail?", asked the trainer, bemused. "Give me a challenge. Rhydon, stomp that thing out of existence."

"Rhydon.", said Rhydon, lifting up a large hoof and bringing it down on Omanyte. To his surprise, the shell was insanely strong, and he actually hurt his hoof as it slid off of Omanyte and landed crookedly on the ground.

"RHY!", shouted Rhydon in pain.

"What the fuck kind of snail is that?", shouted the trainer.

"A deadly one.", said Eric. "Omanyte, surf the jackass the hell out of here."

"Oman.", said the very slightly hurt Omanyte, who suddenly blasted a gush of water directly at the Rhydon, whom was quickly drowned into unconsciousness in his exhausted state.

"Crap!", shouted the trainer. "Fuck this, you're not worth my time."

"Chicken, are ya?", asked Eric as the trainer walked off.

"No, it just hurts my mind to be battling someone who won't exist at the end of the day.", said the trainer.

"Yeah, right.", said Eric. "And who's gonna make that happen."

"You'll find out soon.", said the trainer, walking out the door.

Eric watched the trainer walk out of the room as he prepared for the next battle. Pondering a moment, he gathered his stuff and started off.

"You have any clue what the fuck he was talking about?", asked Jane.

"I was debating whether he knows Bill, or if he's a member of Team Ricochet.", replied Eric. "Damn... seems like I have a mess of enemies starting to pile up."

"So what do you plan to do?", asked Jane.

"Remove them.", said Eric, looking back at her.

Jane paused for a moment, then followed after Eric. Very quickly, they arrived at the next trainer.

"Hey, I heard you were here, but doubted it.", said the trainer, obviously showing recognition of our faces.

"What the fuck, are we famous or something?", asked Jane.

"Or something.", replied the trainer. "Let's do this thing."

"You want him, or you want me to polish this one off too?", asked Eric.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme.", said Jane, pulling out several pokeballs.

"Make up your damn mind.", said the trainer. "Go Nidoqueen. Waste whatever's released."

"I like this gym.", said Jane, smiling evilly. "Go Tsunami!"

"NID!", shouted Nidoqueen, instantly whipping lots of horn-like spikes towards the Lapras.

"LAP!", shouted Tsunami, obviously pissed off by this sudden attack. Showing its appreciation for the attack, Tsunami blasted a solid beam of what can only be described as pure cold at the Nidoqueen, who took the blast, shivered momentarily, then collapsed to the ground, attempting to stand again. *

"Nnnn-iii-d.", shivered the Nidoqueen, hurtling some more spikes at Tsunami, which went several meters wide of their target.

"That's enough Tsunami.", said Jane. "Blargg. Get yourself some experience."

As Tsunami was recalled, Blargg took his space on the floor. Looking at the shuddering, nearly dead Nidoqueen, Blargg merely rolled his eyes and leapt onto the beast, at which point he seemed to dig his claws in and begin to drain out the Nidoqueen's very life. Not even having been hurt, Blargg still looked more energetic after doing this. ** Nidoqueen, not having much health to begin with, dropped to the ground, out of the battle, at which point Blargg hopped off back in front of Jane.

"Ok then, chew on this for a change.", said the trainer. "Go Dugtrio!"

"Oh please.", said Jane. "Blargg, same thing as before."

"Kab.", said Blargg, lunging into Dugtrio and slurping some of the life out of him. At this point, the obviously hurt Dugtrio sank into the ground, leaving Blargg to sit on the surface and the soil filled up overtop of Dugtrio.

"Kab?", said Blargg. Shrugging (as much as a shelled creature can shrug), Blargg passed the time by strengthening his shell. Several moments passed before he felt a very slight rumbling from underneath him. Instantly, Blargg was hurtled into the air, slammed into the ceiling, and dropped back to the ground. In sheer rage, Blargg lunged back onto the Dugtrio and suctioned more life out of him, putting him back in pretty good shape. This, however, has taken its toll on Dugtrio, who could barely move. It attempted to whip a rock at Blargg, but the rock merely bounced off the hardened shell and did little more than cause a temporary scratch. Blargg followed by suctioning the last of the life out of Dugtrio.

"Nice going Blargg!", commented Jane.

"That was some damn fine life-stealing boy.", said Eric, shaking his head in approval.

"Damn you to hell.", said the trainer. "But mark my words, you'll be lucky to make it to the gym leader."

"We'll see about that, now won't... what the hell is that?", asked Eric, pointing towards the wall behind the trainer.

"What's what?", said the trainer, looking over.

"Heads up!", shouted Eric, cold-cocking the trainer as his head was turned.

"FUCK!", shouted the trainer, turning back towards Eric in sheer shock. "What the fuck was that about?!?"

"Look out!", yelled Eric, kicking the trainer in the groin as hard as he could.

"GAAAHHHH!", screeched the trainer in pain, dropping to his knees. "Why..."

Eric finished this by scissor-kicking the man on the head. The man's face was instantly plowed into the hard dirt, breaking his nose and knocking him out.

Jane just stood there, not exactly sure what happened.

"What WAS that for?", asked Jane nervously.

"He irked me.", replied Eric. "And those who irk me, are cheap-shotted into tomorrow.

"Shotted?", asked Jane.

"Don't irk me.", said Eric, laughing. ***

"Thou shalt not be irkethed.", replied Jane, starting off towards the next battle.

The next several battles were much like the first few. Jane took the next one, which managed to level Blargg quite nicely. Eric took the next, after which he remembered that he had found a revive several days earlier. At that, he used this on Florin, who proceeded to exact his revenge on the next several trainers. Finally, when they neared the gym leader, Jane took the last of the trainers, and they walked into the leader's room together. Strangely, all of the previous trainers left the gym once Eric or Jane had beaten them.

"You've made it quite far.", said the gym leader from a dark corner.

"Yeah, enough of that...", said Eric. "Why the fuck do people act like they recognize me? And why the bloody fuck did everyone leave? You got some weird cult thing happening here where you worship me or something?

"You wish.", said Jane, cutting in. "If anything, they're worshipping me, the goddess-like Jane."

"Oh please.", said Eric. "Who's higher up in a deck of cards, huh? The king, that's who. Not the queen."

"But who was the God of war in Greek mythology?", said Jane. "You think..."

"Oh for the love of God, shut the fuck up.", said the gym leader, interrupting Jane. "Firstly, everyone left so that I could savour this victory alone, and secondly... let's get this party started." ****

Upon stepping out of the shadows, Jane's face instantly turned to one of rage.

"I KNEW I recognized that voice!", said Jane. "You worthless fuck! You'll die today!"

"Like you can actually take me.", said the gym leader.

"Uhhh...", stammered Eric. "I think I missed something here. Who are you again?"

"... I'm Vladmere!", shouted Vladmere. "Who the fuck do you think I am?"

"To be honest, I don't have a fucking clue.", replied Eric.

"... Jane hasn't mentioned me?", asked Vladmere.

"Not to my knowledge.", said Eric. "You someone important?"

"... OK, NOW YOU BOTH FUCKING DIE!", shouted Vladmere. "Noone treats the leader of team Ricochet like this and lives!"

"You can't be the leader.", said Eric. "You're not short enough."

"What the fuck does that mean?!?", screamed Vladmere.

"Rumour has it that the leader of team Ricochet is kinda short.", replied Eric calmly.

"Well they're wrong.", said Vladmere. "Fuck this. Nidoking, Rhydon... destroy these wastes of time."

"It be time.", said Jane. "Tsunami! Freeze that thing."

"What, another one?", said Eric. "Ok, I'll take the Rhydon, you take the Nidoking."

"Take them both.", said Jane. "I'm after a bigger prize."

"Wha...", started Eric, but at that moment, he noticed Tsunami taking in a gulp of air and blasting it towards Vladmere, who was now running as fast as he could for a nearby teleporter. The blast of cold caught Vladmere's left leg, freezing it solid. As Vladmere fell to the ground, his leg shattered off at the ankle. However, there was no blood, as the wound was frozen shut.

"DAMNIT!", shouted Vladmere, trying to drag himself towards the teleporter.

By this time, Eric's Florin and Nidoking had wasted the Rhydon and the other Nidoking. Upon recalling his Pokemon, he found Jane walking towards Vladmere.

"FUCK YOU WHORE!", shouted Vladmere, pulling a .44 magnum from inside his suit jacket and firing blindly towards Jane. Jane quickly jumped to the ground, as did Eric. When the firing had stopped, Eric looked up to see Jane lunging towards Vladmere. However, Eric felt a strange, burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. Upon looking back down, he noticed a large, growing red stain on his stomach. Pressing his arm against the wound, Eric looked back to the battle. Vladmere, who was now reloading his pistol, was knocked to the side. The .44 magnum was knocked from his hands, and Jane jumped for it. Jamming the gun into Vladmere's mouth, Jane started to calm down.

"I've been waiting for this moment for so long.", said Jane. "It's almost a shame for it to finally pass.

"I hoke you rock ing Hell.", said Vladmere, trying to talk despite the gun barrel inside his mouth. "Egen ih you kill ne, hean Ricoheh will concinue ho hurhige." *****

"Not if I have anything to say about it.", said Jane, pulling the gun from his mouth. "Let's see how you like to be shot!"

"You don't have the guts.", said Vladmere.

"So... you're REALLY the team Ricochet leader?", said Eric, interjecting.

"YES!", shouted Vladmere.

"Not for long.", said Jane, lifting the man's arm, and shooting him through the wrist.


"I'll teach you not to say such bad things.", said Jane, shooting Vladmere's knee out.

"AAAHHHHH!", said Vladmere, starting to feel a bit faint. The ice over the stump of this leg was starting to thaw, and was beginning to bleed slowly onto the floor, coupled with the other blood that now spilled there.

"Damnit, if you're the leader of team Ricochet, then there's just one thing that I gotta do before Jane exacts what would appear to be vengeance on you.", said Eric, stepping closer.

"What's that?", asked Jane.

"For the first half, I'm going to snag me that gym badge which you so proudly USED to wear...", started Eric.

"And what about the second half?", asked Jane.

"And THIS is for a couple seconds ago!", said Eric, stomping his heel down on Vladmere's groin as hard as he humanly could. A large bloodstain quickly grew around Vladmere's crotch. Vladmere screamed incessantly, overwhelmed with pain.

"Shut the fuck up.", said Jane, smashing out Vladmere's teeth with the handle of the pistol. Moments later, Vladmere began to cough and choke on some of the broken teeth. To help him along with this, Jane grabbed some of the slushy, ice-cold blood from Vladmere's leg and shoved it onto his exposed nerves where the teeth once were. Still choking, Vladmere screamed even louder, despite that Eric thought this was not possible.

"You want more?", asked Jane, shoving the barrel of the gun into Vladmere's eye-socket. At this, blood poured over Vladmere's face from the eye socket around the barrel of the gun. Jane decided to end this pathetic display by discharging the gun several times directly into Vladmere's brain. Blood and brain matter splattered over Jane's shirt. Eric was also hit with this, after which he drew further away, seeing as Jane was still pulling the trigger. Several rounds later, the nearly missing head of Vladmere lay spread around the room in a bloody display. Looking up, Eric even spotted some clumps of brain and hair sticking to the ceiling.

"Fuck man, you messed him up good.", said Eric, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I did it.", said Jane, starting quietly. "I DID IT!"

"You damn well did.", said Eric. "But we should probably..."


"Uhhh, Jane?", said Eric, stepping closer to Jane.

"But it's not over.", said Jane quickly. "There's still the trio. I'm sure they will find a way to make this continue."

"I really don't think...", started Eric.

"And after them, there will be more... and more.", said Jane. "I can't stop until they're all gone. Every last one of them."

"Snap out of it!", shouted Eric, slapping Jane as hard as he could across the face.

"... every last one...", started Jane again.

"DAMNIT JANE!", shouted Eric again, slapping Jane several times repeatedly, back and forth. After the fourth hit, Jane grabbed his arm in mid-slap.

"I'm good.", said Jane. "I'm good."

"You sure?", asked Eric.

"Yeah... just... got a little... carried away there.", said Jane, exhausted.

"Just kinda.", said Eric. "Now let's split before people start arriving and asking questions."

"But the blood.", said Jane, looking at Eric's shirt.

"So he splattered a bit. I've got a change of clothes in my backpack, and I'm pretty sure you do to.", said Eric. "C'mon, change."
"Good plan.", said Jane, turning away from Eric, starting to undress.

"Awww...", sighed Eric.

"It's not that...", started Jane. "And keep your fucking mind out of the gutter."

"Fine, fine.", said Eric, turning to the side while pulling his shirt off. Upon pulling his shirt off, he looked at his wound. It looked bad. Eric pulled off his old shirt and tied it around his stomach, compressing the wound as best he could, after which he changed into a new shirt overtop.

Several minutes later, they were fully changed and ready to head out. As they neared the exit, Eric motioned for Jane to stop. Peeking out the crack at the edge of the door, he saw a large conglomeration of the trainers that were inside earlier. Motioning for Jane to be silent, he ran back to where Vladmere lay. At this point, he heard the front door open as the trainers began to filter inside, thinking Vladmere had finished his work. Eric slid open the nearest window and slipped out. Jane quickly followed. After hastily closing the window again, Eric looked around to see if anyone had seen them. Noone was around, so Eric quickly bolted directly to the east in the direction of Indigo Plateau. Jane quickly followed him, glancing from side to side to see if anyone was around. Luckily, this was a fairly small town, and not many people were around during working hours. After several minutes of running through the bush, Jane had passed Eric, who was panting like a dog and starting to lag behind.

"You alright there?", asked Jane.

"Still exhausted.", said Eric, holding his arm firmly against his stomach.

"I thought you had more energy.", said Jane, stopping.

"I've got a fucking cramp, so gimme some slack.", said Eric, clutching his other arm beside the first as he stopped.

"We'll sleep in the caves leading up to Indigo Plateau for tonight.", said Eric. "No sense trying to search through there when we're tired."

"Good call.", said Jane. "Lead on. Think you can make it there?"

"I'll be good.", said Eric as he jogged forward.

Jane jogged after Eric, only seeing the back of him bobbing up and down as he ran. She didn't think that the run would have exhausted him that much, but Eric had had several hard days go by. It was understandable. At this point, they neared the Indigo Plateau.

Eric had several changes of clothes in his bag, luckily for him. The growing bloodstain that he was covering with his arm would start to get noticeable soon, and he hoped that he could hide it until the wound healed on it's own. Vladmere left his mark, oh yes, but he had left a more lasting one on him. Not to mention that Jane had slaughtered him in pure vengeance. However, if Jane knew about this wound, she might try to take him to a hospital. He couldn't afford for this to happen, since the law would snag them the second they got anywhere near. Balling up an extra sock and holding it over the gaping wound left by the .44 slug, Eric bit his lip and ran onward. They soon reached the entrance to Indigo Plateau, where each of the guards they passed just glanced at the badges on him and thumbed them through. Minutes later, they reached the caves.

Finding a small section that was relatively smooth, Eric released Omanyte, instructing him to either chase off anything that came around, or squirt water on his face to wake him up if it was something too big. Jane followed this by releasing Tsunami and Inferno, who's flame on the tail provided a small nightlight as well. Jane changed clothes before releasing them though, so as it would be dark while she changed. In the darkness, Eric changed as well, using the darkness as a cover. He tied several of the clean socks overtop of the wound to compress it further. He had already begun to feel a bit better. He may have felt tired and light-headed from all the running, but he had indeed felt better. Moments later, he drifted off into sleep, with Jane doing the same only minutes later.

* : No, that doesn't mean absolute zero (approx. -273 degrees Celsius). That's scientifically impossible to achieve by the laws of physics.

** : In case things haven't clicked into place about this particular phrase, I'll tell you now that he's doing the absorb attack, up close and personal style.

*** : Hehehe. Irk.

**** : Well, if I were to plot for a long time to exact a victory in some way, I would probably want to savour the victory all to myself.

***** : <I hope you rot in hell> and <Even if you kill me, team Ricochet will continue to survive>

Will Eric survive the night (gee, I wonder)? Will the police catch Eric and Jane? Will Omanyte eat Eric's insides while he sleeps? What of the team Ricochet trio? What of Bill? Why the hell is this chair so uncomfortable? Seriously, why do they still make chairs with wooden armrests? How many chapters remain? What will happen at the very end?

Answers to several of these soon to come. Note how I did not mention how many chapters were left. ...Damn painful armrests.


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